Call is 11am. Blacktress arrives on the set of Angeltown, a gritty crime drama, told from the POV of the cops, who protect the mean streets of LA. These cops seem to cover a territory that spans from south central to Santa Monica.  This is perplexing to Blacktress and other actual Angelinos.  But these are the kinds of details that don’t seem to bother the staff writers or viewers who live in other parts of the country.   Blacktress has won the coveted role of, “Angry Crip girl in the Landromat.”  She sits in the make-up chair next to Scott Oats, a devastatingly handsome and well known Blacktor.  She steals glances of him as often as possible making the make-up lady’s job more difficult.

“Up, up, up. Keep your eyes looking up.  ” Barb says for the third time as she attempts to coat her lashes.

Blacktress complies . But seconds later her eyes dart back over.  Barb huffs.

Blacktress makes note of Scott Oats’ stubby legs dangling off the side of his swivel chair.

He’s such a tiny little man, she thinks.  Aren’t objects supposed to appear larger up close?

“All the A-listers are midgets.  The A actually stands for apple box,”  Blacktress once overheard a woman telling her date in line for a Tom Cruise movie at the Grove.

Remembering this, Blacktress spreads her lips into a smirk as Barb tries to apply  lip liner.

“Keep your lips like this,” she says making her own face stiff as if Botoxed.

Blacktress complies…  Until Scott finally makes eye contact and his face breaks open into a million dollar smile.

(Insert hallelujah chorus here)

Damn, she thinks.  Now I get it.

Scott couldn’t be nicer.

“Welcome to the show”, he says.

Blacktress returns the smile and pretends not to mind that his scrawny little dog is licking her leg.

“That’s  Martin Luther King, Jr.  He likes you.”  Scott says.

Blacktress is living the dream.

Later Blacktress sits alone in her trailer and waits to be called to set.  She uses her camera phone to take pictures of herself in costume, making what she believes to be gang signs, and sends them to her friend Monk.  Ten minutes later she receives a text back.

So Proud of you! Do your thing!!- Monk

John, a pencil thin, production assistant, arrives to deliver a W-2 form and various paper work for Blacktress to fill out.

“You nervous?” He asks.

“No, its just one line.  I’ve done a bunch of these little co-star parts.”  She says.

“Still it’s a big deal, isn’t it?”

Blacktress shrugs.

“ My girlfriend’s an actress.  She’d die for a one liner.”

Hours later Blacktress is on set, and just about to film her close-up.  Barb, the make-up lady rushes over to powder her, while Sam, the wardrobe lady, adjusts her bandana.  Blacktress likes being fussed over.  The director calls action and this is the moment she’s been waiting for.  She finally gets to act.  Blakctress gets her moment to shine… for 7 seconds.

“The hell you looking at?  Bitch you better back up out my grill.”

“Cut” the director calls out.  “Great. Moving on.”

“Moving on.”  the AD repeats. It reverberates throughout Angeltown.

And  now her time on set has come to a close.  The AD gives her a proper send off.

“ And that’s a wrap on Blacktress.”

The cast and crew break into their customary applause.   A few people quickly shake Blacktress’ hand, and congratulate her on nailing her one-liner, before they rush back into performing their various tasks.

Blacktress watches crew members swarm around her moving lighting equipment and props.  A moment ago she was a star, now she seems to be in their way.

Back in the trailer, Blacktress gathers her things, and she finds herself already thinking how she will spend the day’s earnings.

Good thing, I won’t have to hit my brother up for my car insurance payment, she thinks.

As she walks back across the studio lot to her car, the sun sets, and Angeltown shrinks and begins to disappear behind her.    But the further away it gets the bigger it all seems.   She again texts her friend Monk.

It was amazing!  Scott Oats is my new BFF :)—Blacktress

She then climbs into her (soon to be fully re-insured) car and it peels forward.

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